This is the story of a man who finally had to realize that he needed to start taking his life seriously!
Several years ago I got married to my now Wife. During that time we had loads of fun! We traveled, went out dancing and eating.
Life was good and I did not have a care in the world!
I used to think about how married people complained so much about the responsibility you have to accept when you get married. Since my life was going good I figured those people were just crazy and angry.
They probably married the wrong person which is why their relationship sucked which is what I thought at the time.
Then the bomb was dropped!
My wife became Pregnant with our child. I remember when she told me about it how happy I was but deep inside it felt like a large boulder fell on my head!
Like most people I ignored the problem.
But as the baby grew larger and larger and she began to show I started to become paranoid! I started to wonder if I had what it takes to be a good Father. My mind was racing with "What If's".
It was so bad that it would keep me up at night and even gave me an Anxiety attack. I was so happy with my no worries life that I did not want to give it up.
But my Wife was so happy! She glowed during that time and it helped calm me for a bit.
Still that thought of imperfect me raising a child of my own scared the fucking shit out of me!
I wanted to pack my shit and go but I knew I could not because of my conscience. It would not let me go! Besides I also love my Wife very much and i know she loves me as well so where am I going to go?
I have to face this head on whatever comes comes. Hiding will not resolve the issue.
While i was in the hospital with my Wife as she was having contractions that thought of leaving came back.
I was so nervous!
My breathing was fast and I was sweating like a beast as I held my Wife's hand while she was giving birth to our child. Thoughts raced through my mind! We going to need this, we going to need that! Where the fuck am I going to get the money to give the baby those things she wanted.
I was with my wife all night holding her hand my feet were numb by this time since i have been standing the whole time while she was giving birth. I prayed tonGod under my breath to help my wife bring this baby to the world safely and to watch over my wife as well. And for me to stand firm and not fall down under pressure.
I watched as the baby slowly came out of my Wife's body.
Shoulder and Arms
Legs and feet
Wow! I told myself that was an incredible sight to see! I thought I was going to pass out if i saw that but I did not.
The Nurses grabbed the baby with some towels to dry it up and then we heard it cry!
My wife was exhausted and the Nurses told us it was a Girl!
Oh No! Thoughts of the past filled my mind!
Not only do I have to take responsibility for taking care of this baby! God decided to give me a Girl!! But none the less the event came and went and both mother and baby came out fine.
The Nurses wanted to give my Wife then baby but my wife was so exhausted that I told the Nurses not right now. They told me that the baby will be on the care unit with the other babies and that once she was fully rested she will be able to see her.
I was exhausted! That was a long and emotional night for everyone. I went home to sleep or at least try to as I was still nervous thinking what the fuck did I get into!
I feel asleep and woke up to a phone call. My wife was on the other line asking me if I slept. I told her very little and asked me to come and see the baby. I got up from bed got dressed and left our apartment. When I got there I gave my wife a hug and asked how she was.
She said she was fine and pointed to the crib next to her. Look whose there! She said
I looked and a little baby wrapped up was there sleeping. My heart raced as I approached the crib.
I slowly picked her up and put her next to my chest. A sense of overwhelming happiness came over me. She was so beautiful she had that baby smell. She was perfect!
I began to cry! A cry that I felt inside my soul. I was so happy that she was born.
Then I realized that I'm finally a Father to someone. Remembering all those times my Father would give us advice on Fathering now all of a sudden made sense to me.
I remember telling myself that I will devote my whole life to this baby girl whose my name is Isabella Sofia! That through all the good times and bad times I will be there to help you, protect you and help you through whatever life's problems throw at us.
From that moment on a page turned in my life's book. A new chapter has started for me as I accept my role as a Father, Man and provider. No longer will I be scared or not able to cope.
Sure I will have my weak days and that's okay. But I will always be there.
She is eight years old now about to become a young Woman! From that time until now I have never regretted her for coming into our lives. She has showed me how much love I have inside myself, something that I never thought I would have.
I will give my life to my child if need be. That is how deep my feelings are for her.
To be honest I love my Bella more than I love my wife.